Random Thoughts

Introducing Tess from St. Anselm’s.   Great way to wrap up the busiest day in the history of the blog.   I’m not going to lie to you.  I love Tess.   So cute/hot. She looks like she should be the star of every romantic comedy movie for the next ten years.   Total potato sack girl.   I mean you can’t help but look at her and want to marry the shit out of her.  Love this girl....

Keep the nominations coming folks.  Send all hotties to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.

Click Here for more pics of Tess

Race 9 result: 2-1-3

What the hell happened just in the 9th race?  2-1-3?  Really?  Jesus, I completely whiffed.  Regardless, I’m taking the $90 I have left and trying to shoot the moon in the finale. The 10th race is a $100K stakes race going 1 mile on the turf.  The favorite right now is the 8 – Gio Ponti but he hasn’t races since the Breeders Cup back in October so I don’t like him in this spot.  Instead I’m taking the B.Tagg/E.Coa horse, the 3 – Moral Compass at 5-1.  I like how he’s finished his last couple races including a win over the turf here on May 14th.  Let's get nasty here on the last race. C'mon #3 god damn it!

Race 10 bets: $60 Win – 3.   $2 exacta box: 2-3-5-8.   Total bets: $84. Post time: 5:44 pm

TVG Bank account: -$110.60

Race 10 results: 8-7-3. Final total: -$194.60

Hey, at least I hit the Shoe In.

NACOGDOCHES — A Nacogdoches High School girls' basketball coach was arrested Tuesday and charged with having an improper relationship with a student. Dayna Crenshaw, 33, was arrested at about 8 a.m. today...According to the affidavit for search warrant, the NISD police department was contacted April 25 "in regards to allegations being made by a female student that stated she had been involved in a sexual relationship with a teacher, Dayna Crenshaw."... The officer's evidence included a written description — from the student — of the inside of Crenshaw's mother's house, and the description of a tattoo on Crenshaw's body she observed during "encounters" with Crenshaw. The tattoo is located on Crenshaw's waistline, the affidavit for search warrant said.

Barstool's army of attorney's would like me to restate that we do NOT condone the seduction of female high school students by their teachers. At least not their male teachers. Hot lesbian action with their coaches is not only acceptable, it's expected. "Working out at the Y" is as much apart of women's athletics as weight training or film study. Most girls' basketball coaches spend so much time going down on their players they've evolved a blowhole so they can breathe.

As a fun side note, apparently Dayna worked on the side for some athletic training facility and the director said of her,

The Grades:
Looks: Am I reaching if I say Ms. Crenshaw looks like low rent, Bayou Country, 2023 Hayden Panitierre? Not as hot, obviously, but that's a body any Nacogdoches high school girl would kill to have. Grade: B+.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: Dayna loses points here for choosing an 18 year old to hook up with. "Barely legal" still means "legal." All she had to do was wait until this chick got that diploma in her hands and she could've dove between the girl's legs on stage in front of the whole student body with impunity. Grade: C.
Intangibles: The tatoo just above her cooch is of pink and blue footprints. Grade: B
Overall: B-. If teachers with bodies like this are going to be going after the female students, how are the boys of Nacogdoches High supposed to get any? (Thanks to Mickey B for both links.)

(Bruce Willis with his girlfriend Emma Heming at last night's Celts game. Photo from bostonherald.com)

Vs.

Vs

Napoleon once said "Victory belongs to the most persevering." And nowhere will you find a better example of true perseverence on display than Paul Pierce's courageous return to the Garden floor last night. Unless perhaps you see a model puke on Swedish television and go right on with the show. Or a spring break bikini dancer who falls off the stage and just gets up and keeps on shaking that ass. So who do you give the edge to for pure heart, bravery and determination?

Click Here For the Answer

A giant "Thank you" to David Stern. Thanks for scheduling two days between Games 1 and 2. Paul Pierce will have nearly 72 hours to rest his ailing right knee. The knee some classless LA sportswriters are claiming isn't really injured. Regardless, Paul's knee is now the story of the series. Whether he's 70, 80 or 90 percent, I expect the Truth to play in Game 2.

The Celtics could not guard the Lakers pick-and-roll in the first half. On several occasions, the Lakers made quick passes to Pau Gasol who darted to the hoop for dunks or easy baskets. Kendrick Perkins looked especially slow and inept. Derek Fisher also killed us in the first half. With foul troubling limiting Pierce to just 3 pts, the Lakers up 5 at the break along with the fear that Kobe Bryant would erupt in the second half, I was a bit concerned.

But as they've done all season, the Celtics took charge in the 3rd quarter. Pierce dropped 8 pts in 90 seconds, including one 4-point play. Then came the injury, but that didn't matter. Doc rallied the troops (who says Phil Jackson is the only master motivator) and the Celtics went on a 10-2 run without the Captain. Able to shake-off the pain, Pierce returned to a huge ovation and proceeded to drop two huge 3s which put the Celtics up for good. Call me gay, but I had goosebumps. How could you not?

The Celtics defense definitely tightened up in the second half (Could it be Doc actually made better adjustments that the great Phil Jackson?). Gasol and Fisher disappeared. The Celtics stayed close to Kobe and forced him to take contested shots (despite his assertion that he missed "bunnies"). With that said, the Lakers had several shots go in-and-out. If these shots fall, who knows what happens. The Celtics defense also benefited from Perkins ankle sprain. PJ Brown has much better footwork than Perk.

KG had a horrible 0-9 stretch in the 3rd and 4th quarters. But he made two great plays which quickly made us forget his struggles. The first was the hustle play which saved a back-court violation and led to a Sam Cassell jumper (My only criticism of Rivers is that Sam played about 3 minutes too long in the 4th quarter). And the second was the play which sealed the game, the monster dunk off the James Posey miss.

As for the so-called greatest player in the universe, Bryant appeared disinterested at times. Maybe he grew frustrated having Ray Allen in his jock all night. Maybe he thought he could flip the switch in the fourth (just 1-5 FG). Didn't matter, Paul Pierce wasn't letting the Celtics lose.

Chuck - Red's Army

First of all, I don't remember people winning a million dollars when Bob Barker was hosting the show. Not sure what's going on around here but I don't like it. If you won like $1,000 it was a big deal. However what I do like is the reaction of both players here. The first guy should be up for an award. Oscar, ESPY, whatever the award is for (gay) reactions on a game show. Now the 2nd guy who wins the million, frankly, is probably exactly how I would've reacted. Yell and scream, flex, Dirty Bird. Yell and scream, flex, Dirty Bird. The only thing missing was a football to spike and a flag for excessive celebration. Also, did the chick in the first clip want a piece of Adam? That ain't right.

Okay time to vote on the better reaction. Vote 1 for 1st guy, vote 10 for 2nd guy.

-thanks to Ace for the clip

Boston.com - With the 30th pick in round one of today's first-year player draft, the Red Sox selected shortstop Casey Kelly from Sarasota High in Sarasota, Fla. The 6-foot-3 inch, 195-pound Kelly is also a pitcher, and was ranked as the No. 31 quarterback prospect in 2008 by ESPN.com

This is what should happen when your a first round pick in the MLB draft. You should wear zoot suits to the prom and bang the hottest chick in the school. Good to see everything is right in the world today. Kolby's myspace page is here if you're into that type of stuff.

From Bill Plaschke of the LA Times: He lay in a heap on the parquet floor, visibly weeping into the silk-suited sleeve of his doctor. He was pushed in a wheelchair down a narrow back hallway, head down, season over. Paul Pierce, the Boston Celtics captain, was carried from the opening game of the NBA Finals in the third quarter Thursday with an apparent serious knee injury that momentarily deadened and distracted the Lakers. At which point, Pierce came running back to finish them off. To nearly 50 years of delicious Celtics-Lakers lore, add a new apparent bit of chicanery.

Call it the Fake N'Shake. The Celtics won Game 1, 98-88, on the momentum of a recovery that smacked more of professional wrestling than professional basketball. He was so hurt, he immediately began sprinting around the stunned Lakers defenders. He was in such pain, he hit consecutive three pointers late in the period that gave the Celtics the lead for good. C'mon!

Congratulations to Bill Plaschke for burying the needle on the IronyMeter. Here's an LA sportswriter accusing a confirmed, card-carrying NBA warrior like Paul Pierce of being a fraud. Los Angeles is the Fraud Capital of the World. Their chief export is Perpetuated Myths and LA sportwriters are the leading manufacturers. I don't read much Bill Plaschke, but I guarandamntee you he's written piece after fawning piece about Zen Master Phil Jackson and his brilliant intellect. There's no doubt in my mind that he lapped up every word of it when Kobe, in that quiet, tender moment in front of a hundred reporters, told his wife "you're a piece of my heart, the air I breathe." I'm certain Plaschke is one of those writers who created this myth of Tommy Lasorda as the lovable old baseball granddad, bleeding Dodger Blue and spinning yarns about Pee Wee Reese, when in reality he was nothing but a foul-mouthed, Viagra-popping whore chaser. I'm sure he wrote plenty of sycophantic puff pieces about Magic Johnson: Humanitarian was while they guy was banging UCLA coeds four at a time. Los Angeles sportswriters are the last people on Earth who should be talking about faking anything. Go F- yourself, Plaschke. C'mon!

Well here we go with the 1st race.  Just to re-explain how we’re doing this – El Presidente has generously deposited $200 into my TVG account to bet with for this afternoon’s 10 race card at Belmont, so I’m literally playing with house money.  Couldn’t be in a better spot as a gambler.  Lose, so what.  Win, take the money to the Belmont tomorrow and bet it all on Casino Drive who I think will beat Big Brown.  (Update: Casino Drive now hurt.) The problem is the $200 could very easily be gone by the 3rd race and this whole promotion could be over in a hurry.    Also, stay tuned for my “Shoe-In of the Day” which comes in the 2nd race. 

Okay, 1st race is a $15,000 claiming race going 1 mile around the main track.  We’re going to start out with a price here in the 6 – Hot Like the Sand at 13-1.  He finished 2nd against the same competition level going 7F back on May 14th at Belmont but he broke slow from the 1 hole and ended up being 5 wide.  Hopefully he gets off to a good start and is a much better position to win today with jockey Luca Panici aboard.  Basically I’m trying to beat the favorite, the 1 – One Starry Nite, who’s the classiest horse in the race but making only his 3rd start in almost 2 years and I don’t really like him at 8-5 although we will include him in the exacta with the 5 - Icy Heart.

Race 1 bet:  $3 WPS on the 6.  $2 Exacta Box: 1-5-6.  Total bets: $21.   Post time: 1:00 pm.

Good Luck! Play along by putting some cash into TVG....

Clearly Enza Sambataro gave Manny an STD right? I mean what else could get him that riled up? It's either that or Youk mentioned something about the fact Manny didn't get in the mix during the brawl. I'm going with the former. I mean Youk didn't expect Manny to fight did he? Not only is Manny a lover not a fighter, but he probably didn't even realize what was happening. He probably thought he was watching the fight on HBO or something.

Well, boys, the aptly-nicknamed “bikini teacher” is back in circulation! Tiffany Shepherd, the Port St. Lucie High biology teacher who caused a media frenzy when she said she was fired over her skin-revealing side-job, filed for divorce on the third birthday of her youngest boy, May 27. On Wednesday, the soon-to-be Playboy model proclaimed: “Yep, I’m single, and I could use a boyfriend. I hope there’s someone for me out there. I need $6,000 for my lawyer’s bills.”

“I always have the same problem with guys and it happened with my husband,” said Tiffany Shepherd when asked about the split. “At first, it’s all sweet and exciting even when other guys pay attention to me. But then, it gets old to whomever I’m with. My husband once told me I was too pretty to be his wife. His new girlfriend’s bikini size is a 13 … I’m a 3.”

So... Tiffany is on the open market... Super. Really, that's... that's just super good news. Wow, I mean, what a great opportunity! To be the lucky guy who gets to squire around an unemployed (and unemployable) ex-teacher whose fame clock is at T-minus 14 minutes and counting and who'll spend the rest of her prime earning years handing live bait to snowbird tourists and letting them squeeze her juggs for extra tip money. And all I have to do is foot the bill for her $6,000 divorce attorney? And she's got a monkey to boot? Sounds awesome. Quick! What's her email before someone beats me to the punch.

I have to confess to you I feel partly responsible for creating this monster. "Breastenstein." I've updated Tiffany's story a couple of times now just as an excuse to post pictures of a teacher who got fired for flaunting her enormous rack. But I never thought she was all that hot. Certainly not hot enough that she should dump her husband. Probably the one man who could put up with her inflated opinion of own looks. Something tells me Tiff is going to regret this decision. As soon as she finds out most boob-obsessed guys would rather just put the $6K into their own wife's chest and not have to tolerate this egotistical, butterfaced fish-monger. (Thanks to Ahern for the link.)

"I had some good looks, they just didn't go down for me," Bryant said. "I just missed some bunnies. I'll be thinking about those a little bit."

- Kobe Bryant

You know what my favorite part of listening to these post game press conferences after Celtic victories is?   No, not hearing Doc give credit to the South African guy for last night’s win. It’s hearing the other team explain their offensive problems simply as they were missing shots.    In the Detroit series it was Rasheed Wallace, Tashaun Prince and Chauncy Billups who couldn’t seem to find their rhythm.   Against Cleveland it was LeBron who just wasn’t making his shots.    And last night for the 3^rd time in a row vs. the Celtics is was Kobe Bryant who for some wacky reason couldn’t find his range.  It’s fucking HILARIOUS!   At what point do all the experts start piecing together the clues and figure out that maybe, just maybe the reason nobody has hit their shots vs. the Celtics is because our fucking defense is awesome.   Could that be it?    Or is it just a giant coincidence that everybody seems to suddenly struggle when they play us?    Please, give me a fucking break.   So spare me the song and dance about how Kobe was simply off last night and will bounce back huge.     It’s about time people start to realize that the reason guys like Kobe and LeBron suck vs. us is because we make them suck and there is nothing they can do or say to change that.   Seriously when is the parade already?     

DEDHAM – The haggard-looking former Hull High School principal who was set to do a stint this summer as a camp swim instructor was ordered held on $10,000 cash bail this morning after authorities say they found thousands of images of child pornography on his computer. Russell Goyette, 61, a longtime teacher who retired as Hull High principal in 2005, pleaded not guilty this morning to 16 counts of possession of child pornography. Prosecutors say a search of Goyette’s personal computer netted more than 4,500 images of children engaged in sex acts with adults and other children. He was indicted yesterday. Goyette, a grandpa of four who lives in Walpole, appeared in court this morning wearing hiking boots, shorts and a green sweatshirt. His long, wavy gray hair extended past his shoulders.

I got a dumb question for you. What's the point of pleading not guilty if you're going to show up to court looking like you've been living with a pack of wolves for the past two years? Unless that was his defense? Maybe he's going to argue that it is impossible for him to have kiddie porn on his computer when everybody knows that wolves don't have WiFi.

Listen I know a lot of people are going to say that Coco Crisp had no business charging the mound yesterday. It's not like Shields threw at his head, blah, blah, blah. Well let me just say this. Somebody had to finally stand up for Brian Daubach. It took like 20 years but the message was finally sent that you can't just throw at the Dauber's head 39 times in a row without repercussions.

PS - Worst fighter of the day award goes to Dustin Pedroia who looked like he had urine running down his leg during the fight.

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All images from NEFA.TV image gallery. Lots more very cool Boston photos.

Just another typical day in Boston Sports. Here is what happened since I left my computer.

1. Coco Crisp got got beamed and started a bench clearing brawl.

2. Jacoby Ellsbury got hurt on a diving catch

3. Manny Ramirez backhanded Youk in the face in the dugout

4. Coco Crisp called the Tampa Bay Devil Rays a bunch of girls

5. Celts tipoff the NBA Finals

6. NBA unveils Larry Bird/Magic Johnson commerical in which Larry looks strangely like Bob Ryan

7. Paul Pierce gets taken off the court in a wheelchair

8. Paul Pierce returns from getting taken off the court in a wheelchair and goes berserk.

9. Celtics Win Game 1

10. Kobe rapes a chick

Ho hum, ho hum. Just another day in the greatest sports city on earth. I know I've asked this before but in light of recent developments I need to ask it again. Could sports exist in the world without Boston? No right?